The Birth of Under the Red Pen
Our first newsletter for artists/writers and all creatives seeking to establish a healthier relationship between themselves and their art.
Last spring, I was facilitating a writing session at a conference on sisterhood. All weekend we’d been hearing about the bonds of sisterhood and how women lean on one another for support. We felt completely empowered.
Until the last day, when we moved into our writing groups.
One of my writers—a highly accomplished psychoanalyst—presented five pages of four seemingly disparate ideas she’d strung together. Her ideas and conceptualization of this work—around climate change and psychology—were original, timely and brilliant. When I asked how I could help her, which is often how I begin workshops—because after all, why should the workshop leader always decide what kind of feedback to deliver when we are there to support the writer?—she mumbled, “I don’t know, these are just ideas, I’m not really sure they mean anything.”
Sensing her insecurity, I said, “let’s focus on what you want, why you brought these pages to the group, not what’s wrong with them.”
She nodded and then responded how when she was growing up her parents were really tough on her writing, so she always felt insecure.
Remember, this is a woman who has had a successful career as a psychoanalyst, who has presented at national conferences, led multiple professional groups, and who, no doubt, as an analyst, has helped countless clients overcome their own fears around personal growth and anxiety.
And yet, when it came to creative writing, a process that required her to explore her artistic self, she crumbled.
“Having grown up under the red pen, I get it,” I said, hoping to offer her a point of commonality, to let her know she wasn’t alone with this feeling. All the other writers in the room laughed. But those other writers, I suspected, also knew the feeling I was describing, even if the source of everyone’s negative influence was different; an elementary school teacher, a parent, a writing teacher, a coach, a peer, anyone who made you feel like shit about your art.
And so, Under the Red Pen was born. Its purpose is to lend support to aspiring and active creatives who dig holes so deep they can’t climb out of them; writers who get stuck far more often than they want; artists who know that they are their worst enemies when it comes to either critiquing their own art or being deflated by others’ critique of their work. The publication is inspired by seeing yet one more really smart and creative person talk themselves out of pursuing a writing dream because someone, somewhere said they weren’t good enough, or they didn’t deserve to be an artist, or that there was no point in dreaming about their art.
Why Subscribe?
This newsletter will include musings/ideas on overcoming some of the self-sabotage tricks we use to keep ourselves from our art: distractions, unhelpful messages we tell ourselves, etc., so that we don’t have to deal with the anxiety of facing ourselves and our imagined critics. It will also bring in guest authors from time to time to discuss their own experiences with overcoming unhelpful messaging and facing down those dreaded inner critics. We’ll look at published work that helps us break down, understand, and overcome our own demons.
Some time down the road we’ll add material for paid subscribers; exercises designed to help you move away from the trauma and drama of living Under the Red Pen. Exercises to give you the skills to scrape yourself off the ceiling, instead of relying on your therapist or best friend or Netflix. Exercises to help you build confidence. Exercises to help you find and keep your voice. Exercises that help you nurture your best artistic self.
Together we’ll share the tribulations specific to our internal inner critics, while we work together to unearth and nurture our best artistic selves.
Why else should you subscribe?
When you subscribe, each post goes directly to your inbox so you don’t have to remember to come looking for it online.
When you subscribe, you can join the conversation here.
When you subscribe, you’ll be able to share and problem-solve with others struggling with the same issues.
When you subscribe, you’ll become part of a community helping others find their way to a better process.
And of course, you’ll make me happy, knowing that someone, somewhere is reading.
Thanks for being here.